the 2012 running recap.

are we really starting a new year already?? we probably all say this every year but, seriously 2012 flew by! there were a lot of really great ups and some definite downs. thank goodness running has been there through it all for me. it keeps me sane!

january~82 miles.

my mom and i returned to disneyland for the inagural tinkerbell 1/2 marathon!! oh man it was awesome and we seriously had a blast. that race also completed my 3 races in 16 weeks and i can successfully say i rocked it:) i probably should have taken a little break after this, but sometimes im a little crazy hehe.

feburary~45 miles.

the color run made its way to las vegas and it was awesome!! the funnest 5k i have ever run. also, remember that im a little crazy and decided to let the cat out of the bag about my next big training adventure...a triathlon!!

march~56 miles.

with one month out from rage i was starting to panic and found out how some people will always try and tear you down no matter what. but then had the most amazing distraction ever, a trip across the pond for nate and katies wedding!!! i officially became an international runner and got to do a running tour around london with a guide. seriously one of the coolest things ever.

april~43 miles.

in my normal, i like to overschedule myself for everything, 2 really fun things happened in the same month. i became a TRIATHELTE and a WARRIOR!! ps my running mileage is low because i was so friggin busy with the swimming and the biking:)

may~56 miles.

finally able to breathe for the 1st time all year i was able to look at the rest of my year and a few things came about. #1 my 3 year runniversary! #2 i won the lottery and got into the nike womens 1/2 marathon! #3 all this craziness really caught up with me and i went into a serious funk. i should have known it would eventually, it just really did kick my butt hard.

june~84 miles.

and just like that i kicked that little depressions ass, on national running day no less! everything is just right in the world when i am training for something and once i realized that i hopped back into it quickly. i signed up for the et 1/2 marathon that happens right outside area 51 at midnight! did i mention im scared of the dark??

july~81 miles.

i finally signed up for a 5k on 4th of july! and the olympics started. i mean if that isnt serious motivation, i dont know what is. those athletes from every country are amazing!! plus i started to see a nutritionist. i had been running for 3 years and hadnt lost a single pound. inches yes, pounds no. so after a disatourus happy hour (mostly in my own head) i took back the power and started seeing joanie. one of the best decision of my life.

august~75 miles.

half #8 in the books! plus i didnt get kidnapped by the aliens while running in the dark. i also began seeing a physical thearpist. after changing shoes i started having pain in the back of my knees so i went to the dr for help. later that week i sat in rons office and he said he could fix me in 9 visits. he did so much more for my entire running life! plus the official training for #nwm started. my dream race was finally happening!!

september~73 miles.

my 27th birthday was a blast with a staycation here in vegas! #nwm training was in full swing and i was actually able to reveal the results from joanie...
18 pounds lost!
44 inches gone!
10% body fat to never be seen again!

october~82 miles.

dream race complete!!! my parents, jessica, richard, and i headed up to san francisco for an amazing weekend full of adventure and ultimately would finalize a big life decision for me. we had a blast in the city and i am so glad my parents and jessica came! this was also the month i ended my 3 and a 1/2 year relationship and became a half fanatic! wow thats a lot of ups and downs.

november~73 miles.

in continuing my trend of ups and downs i finally got to complete a ragnar race with 2 amazing vans of girls!! i have been waiting years to complete and it was everything i was hoping it to be. then i headed back into a little bit of a funk. the heartbreak really set in and some days i just couldnt pull myself out of bed for a run or much of anything. luckily i was a very busy girl of course and got to be surrounded by lots of family and we continued our turkey trot tradition!

december~101 miles. 

what a way to end the year, my first 100 mile month ever on new years eve with my runner group friends!!! it finally got be to winter around here plus i got to see my ragnar teammates at the ugly sweater run in downtown vegas.

2012~851 miles run. 

wow!! i did not think it would get that high or that did so many things throughout the year. and this year went so, so fast. i cant wait to see what 2013 has to offer!!

the breakup.

i have been dreading writing this post for awhile, probably why i havent done it yet. i have also been a little mia lately because of this posts title. mostly ive been trying to hide in my bubble and let myself at least try to start the healing process. but eventually i have to come out of that and face the realizations of all of this. last saturday richard and i broke up. 

source

it was my choice, i am the one that said the words and made my decision to walk away from it all. that doesnt make any of this hurt less or easier because i said those words. in the end we were just going in two different directions. three years of love, memories, and emotion dont just go away overnight. we are both still trying to figure out our next moves. luckily our lease was up so we are able to walk away from the apartment without having to break a contract. i have decided to move home with my parents, who graciously opened their arms and said of course.

i am still wading through a lot of my own emotions and most days are still a roller coaster filled with all of them. i have been truly blessed with an amazing amount of support from everyone around me. they say time will heal, and im sure theyre right. but right now im letting myself wallow when i want to and be sad when it hits me, which it does, often. ps breaking up with someone the week of a race is not a good idea for your psyche. you think taper madness is bad? add a breakup in there, not a good combo (more on that later). 

source

i know i made the right decision and one day when all of this is past, ill see it. for now im going to ride the breakup train and whatever emotion will hit me next. stick with me my friends, this blog will still be filled with love, just a different kind going forward.

source



the post 3 1/2 marathons in a row and triathlon blues.

during the end of my triathlon training i was sooo looking forward to a training break. i had been non-stop since about july last year and was for sure ready to take it a little slower for awhile. when i found out i got into nike i was super excited and knew that i could have my break and still have plenty of time to be race ready. well that much anticipated break came and at first my body loved it. run when i wanted and however far i felt like that day at any pace, or rest when i felt like it. then it didnt really know what to do or react.

now what?

all the while everything else in my life really started to build up. work was getting really crazy and sometimes my job is just hard. my class at the time was getting to the final and it was completely overwhelming and really hard. i was also beginning to look at my life as i realized i had graduated exactly 5 years ago and what had i done. there were things i had accomplished i wouldnt trade for the world, but felt incredibly stuck in my current situation. while all this was building i was able to keep it under control for the most part until my brother came home that weekend. after he graciously took me being upset about him not being there or asking about my triathlon and our pure excitement about nike, he told the big reason he had come home, he was being deployed in about 45 days. at first i was ok, i asked a lot of questions and he answered as much as he could. it wasnt until we came back from running errands that day that it hit me, he was really leaving.

didnt we just get to do this?!

that was the straw that broke the camels back. that next week i was a mess. i couldnt focus, keep myself together at work, my runs werent the same, and i couldnt shake this terrible feeling. i broke down a few times, tried to go home from work, and not unload everything on my richard or my family as much as i could. when i couldnt get right after running and had a full breakdown in my bosses office 1 thursday i realized there was something bigger going on. we talked for awhile and i started thinking about post-partum depression. now i didnt think i was fully depressed plus i hadnt given birth. but i did start some research and found that it could be a very real possiblity. you have this buildup for an incredibly long time and then just like that, its over.


in the research it talked about this happening to runners and the best way to combat it was to line up your next something before you finished your current training. i realized i pretty much had always done this without knowing it. i did have nike, but it wasnt for 5 months and i knew that was too long to wait. the thing it didnt talk about was what to do when your actually in it or how to get out. it sounded like a "each runner has to find their way." what does that mean? i was looking for some direction here people! it seems that no one really talks about any of this. i decided i want to put myself out there so others can know that it really does happen to people.


now its been about 2 weeks since the culmination of everything and i am still trying to kick the end of this funk.  i also have been doing some research into another 1/2 before nike, which i know sounds a little nuts, but everything seems more balanced when i have a training plan and working toward something closer than 5 months from now. luckily when i pitched that idea to richard he hopped on board right away, knowing the same thing. i have been keeping very busy, as always, and still running of course, but i know inside i am not back to my whole normal self quite yet. i am signed up for a 5k with a friend doing her very 1st one this weekend and cant help but secretly hope this will be the final push i need to get back on track!

plus i get a date with this guy on sunday!
maybe that will help too :)