the coffee.

i am an avid coffee drinker.  there is no denying it.  however, i am picky.  i used to only drink the frilly drinks from starbucks.  that is until i started working at old navy north mesa and was introduced to the wonder of flavored creamer.  after that i purchased my own small 4 cup coffee pot and a rotating stock of creamer for home.  i figured this way i would save money on coffee, i mean i was damn near going to starbucks everyday on the way to work.  i also realized how many calories i was saving by drinking coffee at home. 

the absolute best time of the year for coffee is the holidays.  first because starbucks comes out with holiday drinks, i am always up for a grande nonfat no whip peppermint mocha, and they are made in the fantastic red cups.  i have had holiday drinks in the regular white cups and they really just dont taste the same.  also the pumpkin spice creamer comes out right before halloween, that is the best grocery shopping trip.  trust me, if you have ever been on the phone the first time i see it, you would understand. 

now, there are millions of people all over the us that drink coffee everyday.  some cant start their day properly until there is coffee involved.  i can make it through the day no problem, long about 230pm though, i get a nasty headache.  plus, the day just goes so much smoother with coffee. it smells good, it warms your heart and your throat, and its like a comfort food.  most of the mornings when i make coffee at home i get in the shower and make my first cup once i am out.  it starts brewing while i make my lunch so i am very close and can begin pouring as soon as i am finished.  i wander around in the closet getting dressed and in the bathroom putting on my makeup with my cup in hand.  when i make the starbucks run i wake up 15 minutes early to make sure i leave plenty of time for the stop on the way to work. 

my family just came to understand these things.  my dad always drank coffee growing up, i always thought it was really gross and smelled awful.  i started drinking the frilly coffee in my senior year of high school and now it is an everyday thing.  however, now that i live with a non-coffee drinker its a little more entertaining.  i will never forget the look on his face the first time we went grocery shopping and i needed coffee and it was about $10 because it wasnt on sale that week.  i thought he was going to throw a fit in the grocery store.  he doesnt quite understand the big deal with having coffee every morning.  one day he even asked, "you are already up, why do you need to have coffee?"  i chuckled all day from that one. 

in the beginning of november is the fateful day that starbucks comes out with the red cups.  i found out from a friend via facebook, where else, the day before they were released.  now that i am counting calories i had to factor that cup in, but man it was soooo worth it.

thats right i even took a picture.  that morning i came home from the gym all excited to leave a few minutes early to stop for red cup.  richard looked at me the whole time in my giddiness like i had lost my mind.  i mean yes, it is a pretty silly thing to get this excited about, but im easily amused.  as i was running out the door richard just stood there smiling shaking his head at me.

i realized this is another thing you have always had as part of your person, but for the person you live with it may be something entirely new.  its one of the quirks that you learn about each other when you live together.  who knew coffee would be so entertaining.

the very first set of bills.

when you begin the moving out process one of the first tasks that must be tackled is the budget.  you plot and plan and try to fit everything in.  now not living on my complete own before there were a few bills that needed to be guessed at for the moment.  so naturally i googled it.  i did my research and figured out an average i thought would work.  i had a pretty tight budget and knew what i could afford in the way of rent.  when we found the apartment to move into i was so excited and it actually was something i could put into the budget! 

we moved in with pretty low moving costs, thankfully.  we did however have a lot to purchase otherwise, who knew the actual moving costs would add up so quickly.  we moved in at the beginning of the month so i had a whole month to get things in order and be setting aside the right amount of money each check.  but of course the reality quickly leaves your head with all the other excitement going on .

all of that changed when the real reality set in and the first bill showed up at the end of the month.  first came the electricity bill, which thankfully we knew was going to have an extra deposit on it.  thank you jennifer.  then the cable, which we scored a smokin deal and had our first month free.  so then the questions came.  how do we pay the bill?  do i pay one and richard pays the other?  which one does each of us pay?  do we each set up accounts?  who writes the check to the other person?  and we hadnt even gotten the rent bill yet.

so we came up with a plan.  we would each pay half to each bill from our own accounts.  whether that meant through the bank or creating a new account with the company.  it sounded like such a good plan, again until reality hit.  i thought the convenience of online bill pay was that it went straight to your bill right away.  not so much, it seems take a few days, lame.  this now means our bills are late.

once we got that figured out, we thought we had it made.  then it came time to pay the rent.  when we moved in they told us we could pay online instead of having to write a check every month.  we thought, awesome, this is going to be so easy.  again, not so much.  we set up separate accounts both going to the same apartment.  all ready to pay the bill and it wont let you unless you pay the whole amount.  lame.  so now, on a sunday, halloween, we have to try and figure out how to get our rent paid on time the next day.  we decided that i would write a check to richard for my half, deposit it in the atm on the way to the grocery store, and then he would pay the amount online in the morning.

the next day i get a text from richard to call him asap.  concerned something is seriously wrong i called right away.  he tells me that the check still hasnt cleared his account and he cant pay the rent.  apparently when you deposit in the atm they only allow you to have 25% of the amount on the initial day, until the check clears.  and wells fargo does not process the checks on site, so it could take up to 3-4 days for the check to actually clear.  now mind you all of this is happening on the 1st when our rent is actually due.  frantic i call our apartment office and they tell me not to worry, we can come in the morning and figure out something.

on my way out the door the next morning to the gym richard informs me the check actually cleared overnight and we could pay online that day.  thank god!  i went into the office anyway to make sure of our final amount.  as i was getting ready for work after the gym richard got up to pay the rent.  however he tried to pay with his debit card instead of as an e-check and it was going to charge an extra $33 to process.

we eventually figured out a system.  and realized that we really need to be on top of these things in the future.  we have so many things we do separately with money that we let the bills we have together slip through.  guess we will see how it goes in the coming months!

the halloween party.

i really go back and forth on my love for halloween.  now part of me likes the costumes and candy and the fact that it usually means we are finally getting cooler weather.  the other part of me hates the scariness factor and the need for girls to dress like whores and the pressure to come up with the perfect costume.   last year i spent so much money on my dorothy costume.  now it was cute as hell, and probably shorter then it should have been, but i made a vow this year to not spend nearly the money.  see last year i waited so long to figure out if i was going to dress up and what i would be that to get all the parts of my costume i needed to do express shipping to get them all here on time.  big mistake for a costume i have one picture in and spent about 4 hours in.

this year my priorities were a little different.  first i participated in a really fun 5k on thursday night with my mom.  i actually dragged up enough courage to run through 2 graveyards in an etchy-sketchy part of las vegas for a really good cause, the easter seals of nevada.  you also had to dress up for the event!  now that i am a running costume pro i was actually excited to go.  i went as a fairy and mom went as a deviled egg!  we both shattered our 5k times mine @26:38 and mom @38:26.  and mom even won 2nd place in her age group!  we celebrated at metro pizza naturally:)

friday was all about voting, the start of my 3-day weekend, and carving pumpkins.  it was the last day for early voter registration and unless i wanted to drive back up to shelia tarr on tuesday i had to vote friday.  so after a delicious lunch at raising canes with tiffany i went off to do my patriotic duty and cast my early vote.  as i was pulling in richard calls to say he finally going to get the pumpkin carving kit we found 2 weeks ago, that i had been asking hime to pick back up since he was home during the day.  i had just come from picking up the same kit.  there was quite a line, but it went through really quickly.  i made a bee line for home because i was so excited about carving pumpkins.  i hadnt carved one in a few years and richard had never carved one, this was going to be fun.

we had picked our pumpkins the weekend before at the grocery store and each had weighed in at about 16 pounds with excellent stems.  those are very important you know.  once you have the perfect pumpkin it is all about the perfect pattern to carve.  i had chosen a very cute mummy, but richard was all over the place being super indecisive.  so we lay out all the newspaper on the kitchen floor, tools ready, and big knives set to carve.  as i start to cut out the lid, richard starts reading the directions from the pattern book and looking at me like i am doing it all wrong.  of all things i know how to carve a perfect pumpkin.  once the lid is off i start digging out all the gooey stuff inside, loving every minute.  richard takes one look inside my pumpkin and the things i am pulling out and i thought he was going to tell me i am on my own!  finally he starts carving out the lid and begins gingerly pulling out the gooey guts. 

he looks so uncomfortable, at this point i cant help but laugh.  he pulls out the bare minimum and claims he is finished and has a idea for his pumpkin.  earlier he decided we will both carve individual pumpkins and then we let his friends decide, who were coming over the next evening, who the better pumpkin was.

after helping in the search for a thundercat logo and hearing the complaints about the printer, i knew my pumpkin carving championship was over.  i mean it was a really good idea and i wish i come up with something cool as well, but come on your friends and thundercats, there was no way i was winning.  as he started poking out the pattern he realized he hadnt cleaned out the pumpkin nearly enough, so he started digging again.  about an hour later our pumpkins were complete!  the thundercat logo did look really cool and when it was lit up, man you could tell i wasnt going to win.  see example a.

later that night when richard went to work the baking bug had taken over.  i had been desperately looking for a reason to bake pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and knew that the small halloween/housewarming party we were having the next night was the perfect excuse.  while i know that not everyone likes the cookies-fools-i also made halloween funfetti cupcakes.  i made a special cupcake for richard with lots of frosting, he was not so impressed.  and forget the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, he was way not havin that.  i knew the next day we were going to need to buy candy so he would have some snacks. 

there was originally quite the dilemma about how to decorate.  i like the cutesy/kid version of halloween with smiley faces and candy.  richard likes the all out scary, mean, the more terrifying the better.  he learned first hand how scared i am of, well everything when we were in walmart and he made me burst into tears over a giant stuffed red-eye scary rat.  while he still thinks its funny, we scaled back on the decorations.  we started the evening with a few friends coming by early to hang out and begin the drinking early.  richard borrowed the deviled egg costume and it was a big hit.  it also could have been the fact he was already pretty buzzed by the time the rest of the group came by.  we had found some pretty good quality alcohol while unpacking the things from richards storage unit so had a good base going into the evening.  richard even gave a cribs tour of the apartment to vanessa, it was hilarious.  partially because your tour is by a deviled egg and partially because richard is pretty buzzed.

many drinks later we headed out to kellys for an evening filled with karoke, more drinking, vanessa stumbling to tylers car about 5 minutes after we got there, richard sleeping in the bar before going on stage, and a costume contest won by a man dressed as an unattractive woman. 

all in all this was a very successful halloween weekend.  a good mix of kid halloween and grown-up halloween.  a small successful housewarming party where lots of alcohol was consumed.  and possibly a few new traditions were formed.

the tug of war.

when you are a kid you end up spending a lot of time with your family.  now there is definitely more time than others depending on things like your age, i mean no parent is cool during some of your teenage years.  my family and i have always been very close and do spend a considerable amount of time together.  they are the ones you come home to at night when you live with them.  the ones you have dinner with when you dont go out with your friends.  the ones you spend holidays with reminiscing over your childhood years.  in my case, i probably spent more time with my family over the years combined than anyone else.

once you start dating someone you instantly want to spend as much time with them as possible.  its new and exciting and this person makes you feel as no one has done before.  you are constantly texting and chatting on the phone about your days or the things that make you happy.  with our opposite schedules during the week we wanted to make the most of any time off that richard and i had together during the weekends.  i know that this wasnt always my familys favorite idea, they definitely let me know in subtle ways.  its definitely a balance thing.

the newest level of balance came in on the second weekend that we lived here.  we had made a sort of double date with some very close friends of ours for saturday night.  i had to work that morning, so they were going to come over later that afternoon.  jackass 3d had just come out and richard was dying to see it.  so while he and mike went and saw that lora and i were very excited about seeing a chick flick instead.  they were set to come over around 4pm, catch a matinee movie after seeing our new apartment and grabbing dinner afterward.  we were set with a great plan.  then, as it often seems to, the latest ufc fight put a natural kink in our plans.  i had no desire to go to the fight, and was actually kind of excited to stay in my own apartment while richard went to a friends to watch.  unfortunately, the planning around that took over everything.  now mike and lora were coming over at 2pm, we had to see the movie early or eat early so they could go to the fight and do the other activity later.  i still wasnt sure why they needed to come over so early, the preliminary fights didnt even start until 7pm. 

as if enough finagling wasnt going on, i was supposed to see my parents at least for a little bit that day.  i had left a few things at home and my dad needed his tools back we were still borrowing, so made a plan to meet somewhere to eat/shop and exchange a few things.   well after i found out the fight was taking over it all went to hell in a hand basket.  our friends were coming over earlier, my mom wanted to hang out more, both were pulling on me so much i was starting to cave under pressure.  richard was upset that i had made plans when mike and lora were coming over and i knew it.  my mom was upset because she thought it was too early i should have made more time to hang out with them. 

all of the above issues would have been solved if i didnt have to work that morning.  i could have fit everybody in, and made everyone happy that way.  so after i finished work i raced over to meet mom and dad at starbucks with their somewhat disapproving looks about our short time together.  oh and probably the fact i made them wait a little.  we laughed and joked and had a good time over coffee, dad telling me all about his trip to seattle for my grandmas birthday and then asking lots questions about how it is to live with a boy.  after that i raced home to hang out with richard and our friends for the evening.  i was again met with disapproving looks because i was so much later then i thought i was going to be. 

we had a really good time at the movies and dinner.  the boys had decided earlier in the evening they didnt want to see the fight because of its location.  lora and i got to see a super good chick flick and the guys were relieved they didnt have to see it and got to see jackass.  by the time we rolled around to getting home i was stuffed from the amazing chicken pot pie i had a claim jumper and the frozen yogurt from yogurtland.  i was perfectly happy falling into bed and watching tv for the night, especially in my own apartment, and everyone else looked about as full/tired as i was.  so when richard suggested they go watch the fight anyway since someone had recorded it, i was pretty surprised.  it seemed to me he was still upset about earlier and didnt want to hang out with me anymore.  lora also needed to go, she had a friend that really needed a shoulder to cry on that evening.

as the boys left i was really sad and felt very alone.  i felt like i had let both parties down that day and at the end they were both disappointed with me.  i realized i wasnt very good at this new balancing act yet.  when richard got home that night he told about the people there for fight and the weirdness that had happened.  best of all, he told me how glad he was to have a normal person to come home too.  without even meaning to, he had calmed all my fears from the day. 

since that weekend i have been trying to get better at balancing.  i am definitely not a pro yet by any means.  i am also trying to make sure i am making myself happy.  both parties are extremely important in my life and i want to keep both around for a very long time. 

the mail.

mail is one of my favorite things to receive.  now i am picky about the mail i get excited about receiving, it has to be something enjoyable.  for example, the victoria secret catalog, a letter from my spouse, a card for the nearest holiday, more shopping inserts, or letters with good news are all exciting.  bills, not so much, but i know that comes with the territory.

when i was a kid my mom always kept the mail key in her car with easy access to it herself.  we didnt live in houses with their own mailboxes for long so we would always go to the big box at the end of the street.  now every time we drove home from anywhere we would stop at the mailbox and always made a big deal about who was actually going to get out of the car to get it.  upon exiting my mom always joked, as she was never the one to actually get out, that she would just see us at home.  she never really did drive away, but threatened to every time.  as we got older she held tighter and tighter to the mail key because things began arriving in the mail you really didnt want your mom to see.  please, it was nothing gross.  we are talking things from school, i.e. attendance/grade records.  i wasnt really embarrassed until senior year when i started not going to government on a super regular basis, i often volunteered to get the mail those days.  as i got even older and my mom started trusting my brother and i to keep the house standing while she and my dad went out of town she always made a big deal about not forgetting to get the mail.  now this was not my strong suit.  i was really good at getting it if i knew there was something coming for me.  if there wasnt, forget it.  there were many a times when our mail was returned to the post office and given back to us in bins because the mail man could not stuff another piece of mail into the box. 

when i went to college, it was the same thing.  now mind you most of my mail was still going to my parents house so whenever they came to visit they brought a heaping stack for me to go through.  i checked my actual mailbox on campus though, mmmm probably once every two weeks or three weeks.  people started getting in the habit of telling something was coming so i would actually go check my mailbox.  you would think that for someone that loves mail as much as i do, i would actually want to check it. 

when richard and i moved in we received one mail key and one pool key, which i promptly put into a pocket of my purse so i wouldnt lose it.  i took them out later that day to put them on a clover key ring so i wouldnt lose any of the keys and placed them back into my bag.  three days later richard asked if i had checked the mail yet.  i sheepishly looked at him and said i hadnt even taken them out of my bag.  he rolled his eyes and said baby!  when we left that evening to go somewhere i took them out of my bag and into the apartment to place on the very handy key rings i had hung next to the door for keys.  (i hate putting keys in junk drawers).  two more days went by and he asked if i checked the mail, i looked at him and said no, why do i need to.  he told he never checked, apparently that was my role.  so the next morning, all on top of my new task, i took the keys to the car on my way out the door so i could check the mail on the way home.  well in the jumble of my morning rush to the car the keys got shoved into one of the bags i had taken with me.  of course later that night i didnt remember to even check the mail on the way home.

the next evening i actually remembered that i supposed to check the mail so i began looking for the key, i could not find it anywhere.  i ripped my car apart that night, i moved seats, i checked the trunk, searched through all the things in my car desperate to find the damn mail key.  thats when i decided i must have left it at work.  i somehow had gotten this image in my head they were on the desk at work.  well of course that night richard asked if i had gotten the mail.  i looked up again totally embarrassed that i still had not checked for the mail and told him the key was at work.  totally expecting that the key was there the next morning, i almost fell over when i got to work and realized the key was not.  i racked my brain all damn day to figure out where this stupid key was for a task that should have never been given to me in the first place, i never remember the friggin mail.  i finally had a remembered where the key was later that evening, in my gym bag!  i went running into the closet tearing apart the bag when eureka, the key had been found!  i walked out of the closet to richard standing there asking what i was so excited about.  when i told him, he had this ridiculous look on his face like really, how hard is the mail.

the next day was sunday and we were headed out to do errands.  so proud of mail key accomplishment i went to the mailbox while richard went into the apartment office to tell them about our non-working dryer.  when i finally opened the mailbox, it was empty.  are you friggin kidding me!  all the ragging on and the worrying there was nothing in the stupid box.  except, an orange flyer asking for the address and the tenants that live there.  i took it back to richard, who was complaining to the leasing agent about the ongoing parking issue, again.  when i showed him the orange paper was all i had from the big mail excursion he looked at with this "are you serious look."  i couldnt help but laugh at the whole situation.

when i told my mom a few days later that i was put in charge of the mail and she almost fell out her chair from laughing so hard.  i realize now this is probably my trade off, he takes out the trash and i get the mail.  i have since gotten the mail thing worked out.  i have gotten on to a routine of getting the mail just about every other night.  also, i found out why my mom got so much satisfaction from making us get the mail.  oh! and babe, when you read this, please dont take away my mail responsibility, i finally have it under control!

the meals.

i love food, i really do.  i am not shy in a restaurant, no matter who i am with, and love having a kitchen filled with food.  i also love to cook.  im not very good mind you, but i do love it.  i like being able to prepare things and piece things together to make a meal.  growing up mom did most of the cooking and as i got older i always volunteered but that didnt usually work.  so when i went to college i was excited to do it on my own, until i realized how hard it really was.  i definitely got better while i was there, but not great.  after i moved home with my parents i didnt cook much again, so when i moved out i was really excited to get to explore my skills again.

richard and i are both fairly plain eaters, and we also eat similarish things.  when it comes to sandwiches mine has meat, cheese, and thats it.  no mayo, no mustard, no tomatoes or lettuce.  he is close to the same, except with no cheese.  i am a pretty plain jane eater, but i do think i am starting to expand a little bit.  when he and i first met his dad actually asked me to help him expand his eating choices, my family and friends are still laughing about that conversation.

before moving in together richard would always tell me that he wanted to gain weight, which trying to understand that as a girl is a whole new crazy idea.  we as women are constantly trying to lose weight, tone, stay the same, or have body image issues in general.  it never really occurred to me that men do as well.  body image issues is something i have struggled with my whole life.  i am a curvy girl, i have a big butt, hips, big curly blonde hair, big boobs, and pretty fair skinned.  i love being a curvy girl, sometimes though, those curves got a little too out of control.  i never took it to the extreme of an eating disorder, thank goodness i was surrounded by the right people in my life, but there has not been many times in my life i have felt completely comfortable in my own skin.  right now however, i am beginning to feel the most comfortable i have in a very long time.  this is also, a lot of work.  i am in the process of losing weight on a plan that has been very successful for me in the past few months, post latest half marathon.  clothes are fitting better, i am actually needing to replace some, overall i feel much more confident in myself. plus i am determined to not gain the stereotypical weight you add on when moving in with a significant other, we'll call that love pudge.  so he had decided that he would definitely gain some when we moved in because we would be eating meals together and my meals usually include many different things, especially dessert.

i thought this was going to be great, i would be able to come home and cook for us both, then when richard came home he would have something to eat.  now after the first grocery store adventure, part 1 and 2, i really began to wonder how this was going to work.  the things we were buying were completely different.  no way was i eating vegetables out of a can and he laughed when i carefully picked my fruit.  i started to realize that we eat in the sameish places, but when we eat at home, its very different.  he is a chicken nuggets and mash potatoes eater, while i may have the chicken nuggets but with carrots and strawberries, two things he doesnt even like.  i dont really like to eat after 8pm, and richard isnt even home most evenings until after 11pm.  i would plan what i thought i wanted to eat for dinner in the morning, he doesnt need to decide until he goes to work.  we both spent a lot time trying not to hurt the others feelings about not wanting to eat what they were eating. 

so by the second week, i had given up the thought of eating the same meals.  i know it sounds silly and maybe a tad dramatic, but it saved us both from getting our feelings hurt and really there are so much bigger things to fight about than meals.  it was energy trying to save face and come with a rebuttal that didnt need to be there.  when we are here on weekends together or randomly during the day we are very conscious about making sure we eat meals together.  i may make an extra veggie, he may add another carb, but we are still cooking and eating together.  who knew coordinating meals together would be so difficult.

the day mom came over.

as soon as i made the decision to move out, i knew eventually i was going to have to get the mom approval.  its something required of all big decisions, its what moms do.  now you may make a decision without her input or whether she is going to like it or not, as i did by moving in, but you know in the back of your mind that sooner or later your going to want her approval.  now my mom reacted much better than i expected her to when i told her my decision, so i was hoping the approval would come pretty soon after.

the next weekend after our move in we decided to have her over.  mom had given us a gift card to purchase new dishes and we decided she should definitely come with us to spend the money.  im not really sure who was more nervous, richard or myself.  the day before we really worked hard to put on the "we really live" here touches.  we got rid of the last of the boxes and hung pictures, trying to match our mismatching things together.  the morning of we made sure to clean the bathroom and had the kitchen looking spotless, well as much as we could.

after some logistics delayed her coming down at the original time we thought, she finally arrived.  when i opened the door she was standing there with arms loaded with things i had left at the house, looking about as nervous as i was.  i quickly invited her in and helped unload while hugging, we are multitaskers, what can i say.  when she walked in there seemed to be a look of disbelief on her face.  now im still not sure if it was because we had actually cleaned, she realized i really lived here, or there were no boxes in sight.  we gave her the grand tour, which took all of about 3 minutes, it is only our first apartment.  and decided we were all starving and needed food asap.

she asked all the typical questions.  how are things going?  are you adjusting?  how are the opposite schedules working?  we answered these and the many others she came with honestly, and i think she was a little surprised by it all.  after we finished lunch we started with the shopping, this is where it all got interesting.

my mom is one of my best friends.  yes she drives me crazy sometimes, in the ways that your mom or best friend always does.  we have a lot shows we watch together, we do 1/2 marathons together, we now both have iphones, we eat pretty similar, we also now both drive volkswagens.  when we go places people always ask if we are sisters, mostly men because they are trying to hit on one of us, what can i say its the truth.  i am often her fashion advice, and connection to things like the social media world.  she is my conscience and will always help lead me down the right path.  we are close in a different way that mothers and daughters are, it something that i cherish very much.  which is why the mom approval is important.

back to the shopping.  we started aiming a little high, browsing through pier 1 and looking at all of the things we are hoping to start purchasing probably this time next year.  being that was our first group shopping experience i was really curious how this was going to work.  when my mom and i shop we ask each others opinion on just about everything that goes into the cart, with the exception of the grocery store.  now some of these questions might be rhetorical, but many are genuine opinion seekers.  except in this shopping experience we have a whole nother relationship to consider, richard, and the fact that we are buying things for our apartment.  so who has the more important opinion?  who do you really listen too?  i mean mom gives the good/practical opinion and richard gives the lets have some fun/be young and enjoy this opinion.  now it kind of makes my mom sound old and richard like maybe he wasnt taking this serious enough, which was not the case in either instance.  its about finding a balance.  merging the stable life that you have always had with your family with this new adventure you have with your boyfriend.  i mean really, who cares if the silverware matches, or if the laundry detergent is a powder or liquid, or if you eat cereal with a little spoon like a normal person and he eats his with a big spoon like a savage.  like i said its about finding a balance.

we never did find dishes that day, or buy everything we needed in the way of basics.  mom really did give us good advice on the things to buy, such as why do you need a mop if you dont have a broom to sweep up the pokeys.  or isnt it really more important to find dishes you both love over settling on some dishes just to get rid of the ones you hate.  it also opened my eyes to how my mom was dealing with things and how our relationship was really going to grow out of this.  she is still adjusting to the fact that we live together, which is ok, at least she is willing to take an open mind.  i am still adjusting to living away from home and figuring out the grown up thing.  when she left that day i thought she was upset with us that we didnt buy dishes.  i realized later that for her, that day made all of this real.  my things are on shelves, my clothes are hanging in the closet, my desk is set up, i really live here with richard.  the next adventure in my life had really begun.