the graduate.

so its been just over a month since i finished school and for some reason i havent been able to write about it all yet. i have tried a few times, mostly ending with me staring at a blank page. its almost a little unreal to be done. and to say that i have a masters degree. plus i will have no more homework ever again! it was kind of awesome getiing ready for surf city and not having to worry about what was due or finishing up things before i left. the other free days during the week are friggin sweet as well:)

the crazy thing is it was right about 2 years ago, almost exactly that i made the decision to go back to school. (read all about it here!) there were definitely some naysayers, actually quite a few that told me there would a lot of things i would have to give up. for example, i probably wouldnt run as much. i most likely wouldnt travel very often. i really wouldnt have much of a life at all with working full time. even with all those scary thoughts i embarked anyway!

the life of a runner and a grad student.

it was hard, i cant even lie. and there were many a days i thought it wasnt ever going to end or that i could just stop. but then as the classes started to tick off and the months started flying by i realized how fast this was really going to go. so i bucked up, figured out a schedule that finally worked, and became determined to finish! i pushed out the people that told me it was too much work or that it was a silly thing to even be doing. i focused and relied on the people that were crazy supportive instead, luckily there were a lot more of those than the other:)

as my last class finally came to a close it all started getting real, really real. and after staying up until 2am on a saturday night to finish my nightmareishly long 30 page paper because i just couldnt look at it anymore, i was done. all i had to do was read over it and turn it in. i had really finished! i told my mom that once the paper was done all i wanted was a cupcake from the cupcakery to celebrate. so as i came bouncing downstairs that sunday-at about 2 in the afternoon-i was finally able to tell her it was time for cupcakes! it was the first of many celebrations:)

that monday i turned in my monster paper-that wasnt actually due till wednesday, yay me-and waited for my final grade. i had about 30 points to play with and still keep my a in the class. and i waited. and waited. and waited some more. and waited. then, on friday morning that week when i was off and we were leaving that afternoon for my grandpas birthday i got my official grade on the paper...and 88%!! which added up meant i got a 95% in the class! which really meant i had completed my masters program with a 4.0!!

to continue the celebration i did when any normal runner does, i ran a 1/2 marathon with my favorite running buddy jen:) i know, totally normal! the original plan was to have a graduation party in vegas that weekend but when your grandpa turns 80 and has a party, he pretty much wins haha. so i decided on having the next weekend instead!

after some serious searching for the right place i found bjs cocktail lounge. it had a great atmosphere, friendly, and had a pool table so people had some things to do. the people there were great and let me bring in all kinds of decorations. jessica flew out from denver to join in the festivities, and i had family come from all over! there was cake of course-whats a party without cake-that was delicious. we had a blast and had soo many different people came to have a drink or 2!

jessica stayed for a few extra days and in true style we decided to make the most of our time. which in our case meant a trip to some place special...

it only took 1 quick question from jessica for us to end up here!

i LOVE her:)

i had been saying for months that when i graduated i wanted to go buy something from tiffanys for myself as a reward for finishing. well after some looking i realized that may not be the most feasible thing ever and there wasnt anything that super caught my attention. so instead i set out to buy myself a watch! i havent had one since i worked at old navy almost 3 years ago because i was everyones time keeper for everything. soon it just became associated with work and i took it off the moment i was off. but i began thinking how much i really wanted now. so after some hunting i picked out a perfect one from fossil that i love! it was the perfect gift:)

i couldnt get a good picture, so i had to borrow!source

now that ive been done for that month ive been doing some adjusting. its weird to not have worry about homework on wednesday nights. or wonder when was the last time i logged into post something for attendance. when i went out of town the last 2 times i didnt have to even think about homework. i did think i would have so much more time then i actually do. kind of makes me wonder how i even made it all fit for that long! i did start to think about the naysayers the other day and all the things they told me i couldnt do. when i actually thought about it, i realized how many things i really did do, and there were quite a few!

*trained for and completed 6 1/2 marathons-cut back on running my ass

*traveled to england for one of my best friends weddings

*held my full time job successfully

*trained for and completed an olympic triathlon

*became single and even more independent

*finally got to participate in ragnar

*lost 25 pounds

oh and yes, i will participate in a graduation ceremony in the early summer. where and when is still being worked out with my advisor. who knows where this will take me next. i have some big picture ideas im working on now. i was finally able to sit down and write this when it all became very real upon coming home one night to a package on my front doorstep. my diploma was inside:) its really real now! 

master of arts in education
higher & postsecondary education

the tug of war.

when you are a kid you end up spending a lot of time with your family.  now there is definitely more time than others depending on things like your age, i mean no parent is cool during some of your teenage years.  my family and i have always been very close and do spend a considerable amount of time together.  they are the ones you come home to at night when you live with them.  the ones you have dinner with when you dont go out with your friends.  the ones you spend holidays with reminiscing over your childhood years.  in my case, i probably spent more time with my family over the years combined than anyone else.

once you start dating someone you instantly want to spend as much time with them as possible.  its new and exciting and this person makes you feel as no one has done before.  you are constantly texting and chatting on the phone about your days or the things that make you happy.  with our opposite schedules during the week we wanted to make the most of any time off that richard and i had together during the weekends.  i know that this wasnt always my familys favorite idea, they definitely let me know in subtle ways.  its definitely a balance thing.

the newest level of balance came in on the second weekend that we lived here.  we had made a sort of double date with some very close friends of ours for saturday night.  i had to work that morning, so they were going to come over later that afternoon.  jackass 3d had just come out and richard was dying to see it.  so while he and mike went and saw that lora and i were very excited about seeing a chick flick instead.  they were set to come over around 4pm, catch a matinee movie after seeing our new apartment and grabbing dinner afterward.  we were set with a great plan.  then, as it often seems to, the latest ufc fight put a natural kink in our plans.  i had no desire to go to the fight, and was actually kind of excited to stay in my own apartment while richard went to a friends to watch.  unfortunately, the planning around that took over everything.  now mike and lora were coming over at 2pm, we had to see the movie early or eat early so they could go to the fight and do the other activity later.  i still wasnt sure why they needed to come over so early, the preliminary fights didnt even start until 7pm. 

as if enough finagling wasnt going on, i was supposed to see my parents at least for a little bit that day.  i had left a few things at home and my dad needed his tools back we were still borrowing, so made a plan to meet somewhere to eat/shop and exchange a few things.   well after i found out the fight was taking over it all went to hell in a hand basket.  our friends were coming over earlier, my mom wanted to hang out more, both were pulling on me so much i was starting to cave under pressure.  richard was upset that i had made plans when mike and lora were coming over and i knew it.  my mom was upset because she thought it was too early i should have made more time to hang out with them. 

all of the above issues would have been solved if i didnt have to work that morning.  i could have fit everybody in, and made everyone happy that way.  so after i finished work i raced over to meet mom and dad at starbucks with their somewhat disapproving looks about our short time together.  oh and probably the fact i made them wait a little.  we laughed and joked and had a good time over coffee, dad telling me all about his trip to seattle for my grandmas birthday and then asking lots questions about how it is to live with a boy.  after that i raced home to hang out with richard and our friends for the evening.  i was again met with disapproving looks because i was so much later then i thought i was going to be. 

we had a really good time at the movies and dinner.  the boys had decided earlier in the evening they didnt want to see the fight because of its location.  lora and i got to see a super good chick flick and the guys were relieved they didnt have to see it and got to see jackass.  by the time we rolled around to getting home i was stuffed from the amazing chicken pot pie i had a claim jumper and the frozen yogurt from yogurtland.  i was perfectly happy falling into bed and watching tv for the night, especially in my own apartment, and everyone else looked about as full/tired as i was.  so when richard suggested they go watch the fight anyway since someone had recorded it, i was pretty surprised.  it seemed to me he was still upset about earlier and didnt want to hang out with me anymore.  lora also needed to go, she had a friend that really needed a shoulder to cry on that evening.

as the boys left i was really sad and felt very alone.  i felt like i had let both parties down that day and at the end they were both disappointed with me.  i realized i wasnt very good at this new balancing act yet.  when richard got home that night he told about the people there for fight and the weirdness that had happened.  best of all, he told me how glad he was to have a normal person to come home too.  without even meaning to, he had calmed all my fears from the day. 

since that weekend i have been trying to get better at balancing.  i am definitely not a pro yet by any means.  i am also trying to make sure i am making myself happy.  both parties are extremely important in my life and i want to keep both around for a very long time.