the little things no one tells you.

when you move in with someone, whether it be a significant other or your best girlfriend you have a certain picture in your head.  the way he will look when he walks through the door every night to come home to you.  how great it will be to wake up to him everyday.  the way your heart will be content staying in on a saturday night cuddled up on the couch together.  then the move actually happens and the fairytale in your head seems to play out differently in real life.

now dont get me wrong, this move is one of the best decisions i have made in my whole life.  and i love living with richard.  i just didnt know the adjustment period would be so...much.  there are so many things that you dont even realize, i thought i would indulge you with a few.

the sleeping.

i used to stay at richards house on the weekends, and loved waking up to him every morning.  it was extra special weekend treat.  so when we moved in i thought that would be one of my favorite parts, and it is.  except that we dont really get the opportunity to go to bed together.  so i fall asleep on my side, which is awkward.  then he comes in later and has to adjust, flopping all over the place trying to fall asleep.

what seems like a mere few hours later my 1st alarm goes off to get up for my morning run/workout.  i actually set two 15 minutes apart so that i can hit the snooze button without being rushed.  i know it drives richard crazy, but its a pshchy thing. 

the thing we finally conquered were the sheets and the fan.  growing up i have always slept on flannel, even in the summer, just with less blankets than the winter and a ceiling fan.  he always slept on cotton with no top sheet just the comforter and the loudest fan in the world.  after weeks of not sleeping well because of him flopping around like a fish when the fan was on and me freezing because there was no top sheet we had to do something.  we agreed upon putting a flannel top sheet on the bed and not turning the fan on in the winter.  pnce richard got over having the sheet tucked into the bottom of the bed, we have been sleeping great ever since. 

the bathroom counter.

for the last few years i have a had bathroom to myself where i could spread out as much as i wanted to, and i did, often.  so now going back to sharing has been a bit of adjustment and i know that one of the few things that drives richard over the edge is the way i leave things on the counter.  1st i rarely put the cap on the toothpaste.  its my own tube, i never have.  havent really seen the point.  i know the end gets a little crusty (gross) and sometimes i end up wasting some of the toothpaste.  but it never really drives me to put the cap back on.  2nd i leave hair things all over the counter.  clips, bobby pins, rubber bands, and bows.  now they are not stacked so high you cant see what they are, but usually i am in a hurry and they dont always make it back into the drawer.  and 3rd is the fact i leave things on his side of the counter.  i am right handed and have the left side of the sink.  he is left handed and has the right side of the sink.  probably not the best planning, but its the way it happened.  i think the fact that i leave things on the counter comes from being in a rush.  its never on purpose or to drive him crazy.  it just happens.  i really am trying to get better about all 3, i know that the toothpaste cap is definitely the biggest.

the dirty dishes. 

i am definitely not the cleanest person in the world.  i leave things on the floor.  my shoes are usually under the table and not in the closet.  the mail will sit on the counter for a few days before i throw things away.  however i am not so messy that i let mold grow on things or i have 3 inches of dust on everything.   one of my biggest pet peeves is leaving dishes in the sink.  now if you are cooking and then eat right after, thats ok, leave them in there until you are ready to clean up.  leave them in there overnight or to "soak" and i might go crazy.  getting up in the morning and seeing his dishes (that dont need to soak by the way) still in the sink the next morning is enough to drive me over the edge.  just put them in the freaking dishwasher that is right there ready to be loaded.  he always tells me he is too tired and they need to soak overnight.  so that is on one side of the sink.  the other side has the hand blender that he mixes his shakes with and the shaker bottle.  now we dont have a very big sink and i am super clumsy so i always know everything over.  then i get super frustrated because there is not enough room in the sink for me to get water and i refuse to put his dishes away.  were still working on this one. 

the laundry. 

when i said i am not the cleanest person, this is never a clearer statement than when it comes to laundry.  i leave my clothes on the floor of the bathroom under the towels because thats where they drop when i am ready to take a shower.  its definitely not a basket, but out of the way so you can still walk through.  now yes, it may take a few days for them to get put into the actual laundry basket less than 15 feet away, but at least you do not have to walk on them.  richard, not so much.  all of his clothes land in front of the dresser, no matter what.  now by the end of the week i can barely open my bottom drawer to get shorts out for my run.  yes, i do occasionally contribute to that pile with a piece or 2 of clothing.  mostly because i am so frustrated that his clothes are everywhere. 

when i actually do laundry (we do ours separate because i have cooties lol) i am soooo not good at putting them away.  1st it takes me forever to complete laundry because i forget it is in there.  there are also certain things that dont go in the dryer, such as bras, jeans, and dress pants.  these things naturally go over the shower curtain to air dry.  i should have added that to richards bathroom pet peeve list.  once it is done i fold everything and leave it on the dryer...for days.  most of the time for the whole week.  i just live off the dryer.  now i think this drives richard a little bananas.  almost as much as it drives me crazy that he will take out his clean clothes and throw them in a pile on the bed.  and then leave them there all day.  when i am finally ready for bed, they usually end up in a pile on the floor.  and so the cycle begins again.  did i mention you must step on all the clothes to get that loud awful fan?  were still working on this one too. 

im sure as those of you reading this that have been through the adjustment period are dying with laughter.  and i know that in a few years we are going to think this is all hilarious, but for now it is what we are working on.  we have definitely conquered a few things along the way.  for example if i go for an early run i now put my things in the bathroom the night before so he can sleep.  he comes to bed with me sometimes and just lays there as i fall asleep so i dont feel so awkward sleeping on the one side.  we both check what the other is recording to make sure the person home can watch tv even if you are recording something.  he takes things out of the freezer so i have something to eat for dinner without a lot of effort.  i put away the dishes when i get home that he turned on before he left for work so neither one of us has to listen to the dishwasher while trying to watch tv.  who knew these little things we have learned to do for the other could make such a big difference when you are home without the other person?

the start of something new.

new years is time where we throw out the old and ring in the new.  where party poppers, champagne, and funny hats run wild.  we look at the last year and think about all the great things we did and what we want to change in the upcoming year.  and of course resolutions.

this new years was a bit of a different concept for me.  it was the first year i would be able to kiss the same person as the year before as previous relationships had never lasted through 2 new years eves.  i also had a bit of a desire for something new to do for the evening.  being young and not having a ton of money we are all limited to the things we can do.  i have always wanted though, to get all gussied up and go out to a high end place, drink martinis out of real glasses and countdown with a drop ball of our own.  ::sigh:: maybe one day. 

we decided to keep it simple, and a little inexpensive, by going to matts house for the new years eve party/rave.  we arrived about 9pm and were immediately immersed in the activities!  eating, of course, and making vanessas famous jungle juice in the same container we would be storing our ornaments in a few days later.  the inside of the house was the party scene and the garage had been turned into a glow-in-the-dark world.  the cups for beer pong had been highlighted so they would glow.  there was a projector on the wall with the weird graphic that plays on windows media player, it was very cool though.  there were enough glow-sticks to dress an army that of course we all donned proudly. 

the night seemed to fly!  i didnt see much of richard in the beginning of the night, as soon as the drinks started pouring we both seemed to go different ways.  and for the first time, i felt comfortable enough to be ok with that.  i felt like the group had really accepted me and i could have my own conversations with them.  there was also more girls being added to the group, which usually doesnt make things easier, but for some reason in this group it does.  i guess being around for a year and a half really makes me one of the group now. 

as midnight approached we all started piling into the living room/kitchen where the tv was getting ready to countdown to the magical time.  richard and i found each other in the kitchen and were instantly wrapped up together.  when the final countdown was complete there was celebration all over the house.  happy new years wishes spread everywhere, hugs abound, and kisses all over.  our new years kiss though, was a different kind of magic.  it was like the rest of the room stopped and i was only in there with him.  it was the kind of kiss you hear about in books and movies, but not in real life.  maybe it was a little bit of the jungle juice we both had, or maybe it was the aura of the 2nd year kiss.  either way it was the best new years kiss i have ever had. 

the party raged on for the next few hours and before any of us knew it was 2am.  we were all starving by this point and not suited to go anywhere.  thank goodness lora and mike had brought frozen pizza.  lora and i of course had a system going and were doling out pizza only to the people we knew/liked.  soon after that the party started to die down and we all were making our way home.  richard and i left soon later, so exhausted im surprised we made it home. 

we woke the next day with a bright start to the new year.  nothing had been bad, nothing had been good, i hadnt overreacted to anything, and no bad news had been given.  it was the epitome of a clean slate, a fresh start for everyone.  we had decided to start the new year focused on our apartment...shopping for a new couch.  later in the day my family was hosting a new years dinner, so we had a few hours to do our shopping.  jennifer had told me about the rc wiley clearance center in north las vegas that would give us a smokin deal, and i finally convinced richard it was time to look.  i had been looking for a few weeks and knew basically what i wanted.  we had decided we wanted a sectional with the long end on the left hand side to go underneath the window.  we ventured up north and instantly found the perfect couch, dark brown, suede, and huge.  i was positive and ready to purchase.  richard however was not so sure.  we ended up sitting on that couch for about a half hour talking about things, it was actually really helpful. 

not quite ready to purchase we headed back down the freeway to check out ashley furniture and walker furniture.  ashley had a great couch that would have been perfect if the back cushions hadnt been pillows.  and walker, well this was the best we found...

it was kind of cool, just not our style.  after this we decided it was time to head back to our beautiful brown couch at rc wiley.  we were definitely running out of time, but were afraid that if we didnt buy it today it might not be there.  when we got back it was pretty quick and easy process, and i recruited my brother to help me pick up the couch monday after work. 

after the purchase we headed out to my parents house and were greeted by big congratulations from my family.  it was our first big purchase together.  it made me realize, i was really in this, full force. 

i decided this year i am not going to make the typical lose weight, quit drinking, get organzied resolutions.  i want this year to be about making myself happy.  continuing my running and actually enjoying it.  learn to take a step back sometimes before reacting.  and try not to be so hard on myself.  surround myself with people i love and enjoy.  it is the turn of a new decade, time for a whole new way to grow.